There are countless things I have to and would love to do but none more than catching a flight to go to my home right now.... my parents need me and I need them more than anyone else right now.
Talking to my boss on monday - catching my flight to Delhi.. I am coming home.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Inspiring Myself
Words do matter .. often there are days when you are in need of a few words to pep yourself up, to reignite that torch within you, to remind yourself that you are in here for a greater purpose - today is one of those days for me
Read them all ... and start going after your dreams
" Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work
The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
In life I am often reminded, if not by the events of life, than by my wife - that I am not a perfect man
Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. "
Read them all ... and start going after your dreams
" Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want
The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work
The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
In life I am often reminded, if not by the events of life, than by my wife - that I am not a perfect man
Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air. They are where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. "
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Barack Obama
I am an Obama fan.
Many people have asked me .. what's so great about him? What's new in his promised policies? He isn't saying anything different. His public speaking are excellent at best and not extraordinary and we have had presidential candidates with similar oratory skills in the past - Ronald Reagen immediately comes to mind. So what is it all about Obama then?
Since quite a young age, I have had a penchant for people who are infamous for doing something that are not generally in line with society accepted good norms. I am a fan of Adolf Hitler, I am a fan of Hugo Chavez, I am a fan of the mythological figures Ravana and Duryodhana, I am a fan of Abel from Kane and Abel and now I am a fan of Obama.
Its certainly not doing justice to Obama to have his name along with the rest of them - but to me they are all the same. They all have some key characteristics that attract me towards them. And this flare of attraction is enough to hide any other deficits.
What attracts me to Obama then?
Many people have asked me .. what's so great about him? What's new in his promised policies? He isn't saying anything different. His public speaking are excellent at best and not extraordinary and we have had presidential candidates with similar oratory skills in the past - Ronald Reagen immediately comes to mind. So what is it all about Obama then?
Since quite a young age, I have had a penchant for people who are infamous for doing something that are not generally in line with society accepted good norms. I am a fan of Adolf Hitler, I am a fan of Hugo Chavez, I am a fan of the mythological figures Ravana and Duryodhana, I am a fan of Abel from Kane and Abel and now I am a fan of Obama.
Its certainly not doing justice to Obama to have his name along with the rest of them - but to me they are all the same. They all have some key characteristics that attract me towards them. And this flare of attraction is enough to hide any other deficits.
What attracts me to Obama then?
- He is a black. No matter how much you might argue about racial tolerance and race being non existent now, it does exist there - it exists in the drawing room conversations, it exists in the police and court rooms and it exists in the minds of people. However, Obama never sat down cribbing that what he is doing is impossible - that it isn't possible to get white votes in white neighborhoods, that it isn't possible to get votes from those families who have been mobbed by black guys on the back alley. He is totally banking on himself - and that is all that he needs.
- He says something and will take it till the last dime that its worth - When Obama was touted as a possible presidential candidate, he didn't immediately say that he is ready for it. He took his time out to think and then finally announced his presidency. And now he is valiantly fighting till the end. There are many candidates Giulani, Romney, Edwards who came in with high hopes but kept dropping out. The real race is run by Titans and Obama is a Titan. You promise and stand up for something and then you go all out for it - no slacking, no excuses.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
GTP Experience ... London
It is not often in life that you do a free fall diving from 10000 ft high. Not often do you find yourself trekking through the jungles of Amazon or are caught boat rowing through the enchanting river of Nile. It is not often that you can hitch a ride to fly down to the moon or burn your skin travelling through the endless sands of the Sahara. And it is really not often that you get a chance to attend the Graduate Training Programme of UBS.
So I must bless my stars, for I did get that chance. And I intended to make most out of it.
The stakes were clearly set on the first day of the two months programme in London. Deborah Negus, our program cooordinator asked us to look around us and notice that 292 graduates from 52 locations were present and all were “equally smart as you”. She set down the objectives of the programme which were to network, learn, contribute and have fun. As for me, I couldn't have been any less excited. I was in London after twenty years and every single thing around me was creating a sense of magic. The all new faces around me, the new design and architecture was driving a history admirer like me crazy.
We were divided into groups of about 25 grads each and assigned to our classrooms from 9 am to 5:30 pm. I was sharing desk space with grads from renowned schools to ones from little known countries (Sierra Leone, Mauritius, Peru, Cyprus). Grads with masters and work experience to grads who looked like they had just been pulled out of high school. Grads who were loud and extrovert to grads who had no problems in playing the invisbile game. As I talked and interacted with all of them, I noticed one thing that was common amongst all of them. All had their eyes set for the future. All were brilliant in their own way and behind each cheerful and demure look, there was an urge to do something and to create a mark for themselves, somewhere someday. I was happy to be a part of this group.
It was in the training classroom that I think two of our four objectives (learn and contribute) were met. We were being taught the basics of finance, accounting, investing techniques and how the structure of UBS contributes towards its revenue. As the meaning of One Firm approach became clear, the principles of security, integrity and confidence upon which UBS works also started becoming evident. Top speakers were called in from various departments and spoke to us on the importance of risk control and being client focused in all our dealings. There were also brilliantly executed simulation games to teach us pit trading, art of negotiating with clients and how interest rates move up or down with new market info. We were all learning and contributing with our own understanding and knowledge of things obtained from our respective countries.
The other two objectives (network and having fun) were easily met or rather overmet as we were taken on a VIP ride over the London Eye, sent scrambling in search of clues all over London, given a chance to show our skills in bowling, ice skating and also not so much skills in singing at the karoake. There was also enough talent within us that it was felt that we could give something back to our community. We went to a school for the mentally challenged and spent some quality time painting the walls of the building and cleaning up the compound. Though it was raining all the time while we were painting! it did nothing to dampen our spirits and our committment was rock solid. The best night though was probably saved for the final night of the programme to take us on an exclusive cruise party over the river Thames. It was the night of my life as I danced to the tunes of YMCA till I was drenched with the realisation that it was all coming to an end and that soon I will be off to live of all that I have experienced. It didn't feel much good and that night, I partied really hard.
The last day of the programme was marked with prizes and awards to the high achievers amongst us and a scintilating final presentation speech from Deborah. As we hugged our fellow mates with whom we had spent so close a time for the last two months, it was evident that none of us wanted to leave.
As I reflected upon my time spent and learning, I more and more realised that the real objective of the programme was to bring us closer with our own selves. It was all about breaking free from our apprehensions, identifing our potential and discovering what is it in us that will one day make us better leaders and ultimately better human beings.
I closed off my two months experience with the resounding thought that every person when given a chance should go through this programme. It is one of those momentous life discovering events which will leave you changed forever.
So I must bless my stars, for I did get that chance. And I intended to make most out of it.
The stakes were clearly set on the first day of the two months programme in London. Deborah Negus, our program cooordinator asked us to look around us and notice that 292 graduates from 52 locations were present and all were “equally smart as you”. She set down the objectives of the programme which were to network, learn, contribute and have fun. As for me, I couldn't have been any less excited. I was in London after twenty years and every single thing around me was creating a sense of magic. The all new faces around me, the new design and architecture was driving a history admirer like me crazy.
We were divided into groups of about 25 grads each and assigned to our classrooms from 9 am to 5:30 pm. I was sharing desk space with grads from renowned schools to ones from little known countries (Sierra Leone, Mauritius, Peru, Cyprus). Grads with masters and work experience to grads who looked like they had just been pulled out of high school. Grads who were loud and extrovert to grads who had no problems in playing the invisbile game. As I talked and interacted with all of them, I noticed one thing that was common amongst all of them. All had their eyes set for the future. All were brilliant in their own way and behind each cheerful and demure look, there was an urge to do something and to create a mark for themselves, somewhere someday. I was happy to be a part of this group.
It was in the training classroom that I think two of our four objectives (learn and contribute) were met. We were being taught the basics of finance, accounting, investing techniques and how the structure of UBS contributes towards its revenue. As the meaning of One Firm approach became clear, the principles of security, integrity and confidence upon which UBS works also started becoming evident. Top speakers were called in from various departments and spoke to us on the importance of risk control and being client focused in all our dealings. There were also brilliantly executed simulation games to teach us pit trading, art of negotiating with clients and how interest rates move up or down with new market info. We were all learning and contributing with our own understanding and knowledge of things obtained from our respective countries.
The other two objectives (network and having fun) were easily met or rather overmet as we were taken on a VIP ride over the London Eye, sent scrambling in search of clues all over London, given a chance to show our skills in bowling, ice skating and also not so much skills in singing at the karoake. There was also enough talent within us that it was felt that we could give something back to our community. We went to a school for the mentally challenged and spent some quality time painting the walls of the building and cleaning up the compound. Though it was raining all the time while we were painting! it did nothing to dampen our spirits and our committment was rock solid. The best night though was probably saved for the final night of the programme to take us on an exclusive cruise party over the river Thames. It was the night of my life as I danced to the tunes of YMCA till I was drenched with the realisation that it was all coming to an end and that soon I will be off to live of all that I have experienced. It didn't feel much good and that night, I partied really hard.
The last day of the programme was marked with prizes and awards to the high achievers amongst us and a scintilating final presentation speech from Deborah. As we hugged our fellow mates with whom we had spent so close a time for the last two months, it was evident that none of us wanted to leave.
As I reflected upon my time spent and learning, I more and more realised that the real objective of the programme was to bring us closer with our own selves. It was all about breaking free from our apprehensions, identifing our potential and discovering what is it in us that will one day make us better leaders and ultimately better human beings.
I closed off my two months experience with the resounding thought that every person when given a chance should go through this programme. It is one of those momentous life discovering events which will leave you changed forever.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
FountainHead
I just finished the Fountainhaid by Ayn Rand. I can't describe what I am feeling at the moment or if there is a feeling at all. I know I have just finished reading a masterpiece … a one of its kind book. But I am yet to absorb fully what I have just read. I am not sure if I am in tandem where her Objectivist philosophy… I could be or I could not. I will have to wait to find out.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Words which motivate me
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Alva Edison
Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.
- Victoria Holt, writer
"Everything is okay in the end, if it's not ok, then it's not the end."
- Unknown
If you don't make mistakes, you aren't really trying.
- Coleman Hawking
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot
Don't ask God to make your life easier, ask him to make you a stronger person!
- Unknown
It is not wanting to win that makes you a winner; it is refusing to fail.
- Kristi
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.
- Vincent J. Lombardi
Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.
- Charlie Jones
When you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.
- unknown
Everything happens for a reason.
Even if you never see the reasoning.
- Katie and Amanda
When someone is telling you that you can't do something, don't quit, just smile and say "I'll show you".
- Luis Lira
Don't ever let anyone put you down to make themselves feel better... Remember that...
- Unknown
What's meant to be
Will always find its way.
- Unknown
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
- eleanor roosevelt
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
- Calvin Coolidge
"When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true"
- Paulo Coelho, 'The Alchemist'
- Thomas Alva Edison
Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.
- Victoria Holt, writer
"Everything is okay in the end, if it's not ok, then it's not the end."
- Unknown
If you don't make mistakes, you aren't really trying.
- Coleman Hawking
"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot
Don't ask God to make your life easier, ask him to make you a stronger person!
- Unknown
It is not wanting to win that makes you a winner; it is refusing to fail.
- Kristi
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.
- Vincent J. Lombardi
Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.
- Charlie Jones
When you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.
- unknown
Everything happens for a reason.
Even if you never see the reasoning.
- Katie and Amanda
When someone is telling you that you can't do something, don't quit, just smile and say "I'll show you".
- Luis Lira
Don't ever let anyone put you down to make themselves feel better... Remember that...
- Unknown
What's meant to be
Will always find its way.
- Unknown
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
- eleanor roosevelt
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
- Calvin Coolidge
"When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true"
- Paulo Coelho, 'The Alchemist'
Monday, December 04, 2006
Along Came Dad !!! Learning to Rise
When I woke up, the first thing I did was to check my cellphone. Any calls, any messages? X works 24x7 you know. But there were none. I looked up ruefully at all the god idols I have in my room and then suddenly, out of nowhere, it struck me.
I have done well in life - I know I have. There are very few areas I have failed and I have never really bothered thinking about them. And at that moment, I realised that all this while in my life, I have never gone through the acid test - the test of failure. No man in this world, can call himself a man till he has gone through a time of failure. For you never judge a man, his will power, his strengths when he is winning. You judge him when he is failing. A girl who judges her love when he is only winning, could never be farther from being right. The only time when a man should be judged is when he has failed and lost. And I thanked god for giving me this acid test as well. I promised myself that I had no intentions of failing this test.
Still reeling under these thoughts, I was unsure if this was the right thing to think about, or was it just a garb or a mask under which losers could hide their face and forget about their failings...ummm
And then along came Dad..
Let me tell you something about my dad. He is the only one of his kind, no one whom I have ever met in my life can even come close to the qualities he possesses. A man of boundless energy, a man of unlimited will power and strength, a man of countless negotiation and convincing skills and above all the only person on whom I have more confidence of handling things than on my own.
And he called... and I told him everything which I couldn't say to anyone else. Its so unfair dad, its so unfair.. I was brilliant, trust me. Nothing had gone wrong, and I couldn't have done any better - I just dont know what happened.. I just don't know.. believe me.
And my dad listened and listened. And afterwards, when he spoke, I only listened. A few words from him and I was right back on track. I can't say what he told me... only he can say the way he speaks. But its suffice to say that whatever he said calmed me in ways nothing else could. My fallen chest had risen again, my confidence level was back to its max and suddenly, I was me again.
And even while I was talking to him, I suddenly realized how lucky I am to have a dad like him. And I so much could die for a quality that he possesses - changing his words to suit the occasion the best way possible. He is a master of words... if I had told him that I have got into X - he would have convinced me that that is the best place to work in the world. And now that I didn't get into, he convinced me that it would have been the wrong place to work anyway. Oh gosh... what a quality. I need that! for I know so long as I have that, I can never be unsuccessful in life.
And after talking to him, I knew one thing for sure. If X chose to go ahead without me, I have nothing to be disappointed about. If someone needs to be, it has to be that of X. "If there was anything that was under my control, it was my performance and not its outcome". Its their loss that they chose to go ahead without me. So it is they who have to be rueful - not me.
And at that moment, I made a pledge to myself. One day, and I do say one day, X will come over seeking me to join their company. And that is the promise of a son, who has within him, the genes of his dad ...
I have done well in life - I know I have. There are very few areas I have failed and I have never really bothered thinking about them. And at that moment, I realised that all this while in my life, I have never gone through the acid test - the test of failure. No man in this world, can call himself a man till he has gone through a time of failure. For you never judge a man, his will power, his strengths when he is winning. You judge him when he is failing. A girl who judges her love when he is only winning, could never be farther from being right. The only time when a man should be judged is when he has failed and lost. And I thanked god for giving me this acid test as well. I promised myself that I had no intentions of failing this test.
Still reeling under these thoughts, I was unsure if this was the right thing to think about, or was it just a garb or a mask under which losers could hide their face and forget about their failings...ummm
And then along came Dad..
Let me tell you something about my dad. He is the only one of his kind, no one whom I have ever met in my life can even come close to the qualities he possesses. A man of boundless energy, a man of unlimited will power and strength, a man of countless negotiation and convincing skills and above all the only person on whom I have more confidence of handling things than on my own.
And he called... and I told him everything which I couldn't say to anyone else. Its so unfair dad, its so unfair.. I was brilliant, trust me. Nothing had gone wrong, and I couldn't have done any better - I just dont know what happened.. I just don't know.. believe me.
And my dad listened and listened. And afterwards, when he spoke, I only listened. A few words from him and I was right back on track. I can't say what he told me... only he can say the way he speaks. But its suffice to say that whatever he said calmed me in ways nothing else could. My fallen chest had risen again, my confidence level was back to its max and suddenly, I was me again.
And even while I was talking to him, I suddenly realized how lucky I am to have a dad like him. And I so much could die for a quality that he possesses - changing his words to suit the occasion the best way possible. He is a master of words... if I had told him that I have got into X - he would have convinced me that that is the best place to work in the world. And now that I didn't get into, he convinced me that it would have been the wrong place to work anyway. Oh gosh... what a quality. I need that! for I know so long as I have that, I can never be unsuccessful in life.
And after talking to him, I knew one thing for sure. If X chose to go ahead without me, I have nothing to be disappointed about. If someone needs to be, it has to be that of X. "If there was anything that was under my control, it was my performance and not its outcome". Its their loss that they chose to go ahead without me. So it is they who have to be rueful - not me.
And at that moment, I made a pledge to myself. One day, and I do say one day, X will come over seeking me to join their company. And that is the promise of a son, who has within him, the genes of his dad ...
Learning to Fail...
Well well well... they say we never stop learning. And I learnt another lesson of life a couple of days back. And the lesson was that of failure. It might sound surprising, but I have never thought that I had really failed in my last 21 years as badly as I felt on Saturday. And boy o boy, was it a tough lesson to sit through!
A quick summary. It was the final round of company X's Recruitment drive. Just the last hurdle I had to clear - back to back interviews, games to play and basically to carry myself well throughout the day. I did all that well, and I really mean I did well. The interviews were a dream - never before, had I given such unblemished, assertive and magnificent interview. When I got up after my interviews, I was sure I am through. No human, whoever they were , could have the courage to not pick me up after such a marvellous display of skills. I was dead sure about that! I caught hold of my friends (who had come for the same assesment) and headed out for two back to back movies at the posh theatres downtown.
But I guess I was a little too sure. After one movie was over and I was still reeling under the effects of Penguins (Happy Feet), my friend got a call on his cellphone - he had got into X. Wow! I was so happy for him. The next thing I started to do was to take a look at my own cellphone - did I feel it vibrate or ring as well. Ah.. not yet. They are still calling - there is no way they can't take me in.
But the creeping python was all over me. All through our train ride to our next movie destination, I could keep feeling my heart beat rise with every minute. Did my phone just ring? No it didn't. Was there a slight vibration.. nah not yet. Or maybe its the tunnel? The train is running through a tunnel and signals are hard to catch by.. yeah that's right. Meanwhile, my friend was making frantic calls to all over the world - parents in India, friends, remote friends, enemies - "I am into X - London training, treat". I made a mental list of all people I would call up. First to mom and dad, and then to my brother - so what if I haven't spoken to him for over two weeks. This is the best time to make up . I will call up all my friends, even remote ones.... O damn it..!!!! Just Ring !!!!!!!!
The train was out from the tunnel, by then all the rest of my friends too had got the call from X and by the time we reached the movie theatre, I was finding it hard to walk. No way, I could sit through another movie - I am gonna die today. It juz can't be. What did I do wrong! Why is it that I am being tested for the power of endurance, why not someone else? Ah.. god. You can't be so unfair to me.
I ultimately didn't go for the movie and came back to my room. Couldn't have been so sad in my life. The canteen owner, where I brought my food everyday, spoke to me for the first time in 4 years.. and the first thing he asked was "Why are you so sad"... and I couldn't hold on anymore. Somehow, telling a stranger of how I felt was more comforting than anything else in the world at that moment.
The whole night, the only thing which went through me was --- why me? Why me, after such a splendid interview, with so many credentials - Dean's List, innumerable internships, awards, why couldn't I get through and simple others could get in? It was too much of a shock and a gulp in my throat formed which was too hard to swallow...
I din have the courage to tell my parents that I had failed in their eyes - the man who was once so sure in his life that no company could reject him would actually call them up to break a news of rejection. No I can't do that.
It was my first introduction to failure.. first time when I couldn't think of what I could have done better to get in. First time, when I felt I was at the receiving end of unfairness. So many first times, that I juz took refuge in a movie stored on my computer and slept ...
A quick summary. It was the final round of company X's Recruitment drive. Just the last hurdle I had to clear - back to back interviews, games to play and basically to carry myself well throughout the day. I did all that well, and I really mean I did well. The interviews were a dream - never before, had I given such unblemished, assertive and magnificent interview. When I got up after my interviews, I was sure I am through. No human, whoever they were , could have the courage to not pick me up after such a marvellous display of skills. I was dead sure about that! I caught hold of my friends (who had come for the same assesment) and headed out for two back to back movies at the posh theatres downtown.
But I guess I was a little too sure. After one movie was over and I was still reeling under the effects of Penguins (Happy Feet), my friend got a call on his cellphone - he had got into X. Wow! I was so happy for him. The next thing I started to do was to take a look at my own cellphone - did I feel it vibrate or ring as well. Ah.. not yet. They are still calling - there is no way they can't take me in.
But the creeping python was all over me. All through our train ride to our next movie destination, I could keep feeling my heart beat rise with every minute. Did my phone just ring? No it didn't. Was there a slight vibration.. nah not yet. Or maybe its the tunnel? The train is running through a tunnel and signals are hard to catch by.. yeah that's right. Meanwhile, my friend was making frantic calls to all over the world - parents in India, friends, remote friends, enemies - "I am into X - London training, treat". I made a mental list of all people I would call up. First to mom and dad, and then to my brother - so what if I haven't spoken to him for over two weeks. This is the best time to make up . I will call up all my friends, even remote ones.... O damn it..!!!! Just Ring !!!!!!!!
The train was out from the tunnel, by then all the rest of my friends too had got the call from X and by the time we reached the movie theatre, I was finding it hard to walk. No way, I could sit through another movie - I am gonna die today. It juz can't be. What did I do wrong! Why is it that I am being tested for the power of endurance, why not someone else? Ah.. god. You can't be so unfair to me.
I ultimately didn't go for the movie and came back to my room. Couldn't have been so sad in my life. The canteen owner, where I brought my food everyday, spoke to me for the first time in 4 years.. and the first thing he asked was "Why are you so sad"... and I couldn't hold on anymore. Somehow, telling a stranger of how I felt was more comforting than anything else in the world at that moment.
The whole night, the only thing which went through me was --- why me? Why me, after such a splendid interview, with so many credentials - Dean's List, innumerable internships, awards, why couldn't I get through and simple others could get in? It was too much of a shock and a gulp in my throat formed which was too hard to swallow...
I din have the courage to tell my parents that I had failed in their eyes - the man who was once so sure in his life that no company could reject him would actually call them up to break a news of rejection. No I can't do that.
It was my first introduction to failure.. first time when I couldn't think of what I could have done better to get in. First time, when I felt I was at the receiving end of unfairness. So many first times, that I juz took refuge in a movie stored on my computer and slept ...
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Ayrton Senna Tribute
The finest tribute presented to Ayrton Senna by his teammate/nemesis Alain Prost upon his death.
http://www.prostfan.com/senna2.htm
Have read this around 10 times and each time cannot remain unimpressed by the character and the winning attitude of Senna. The brilliant words of Alain Prost is just an icing to the cake.
http://www.prostfan.com/senna2.htm
Have read this around 10 times and each time cannot remain unimpressed by the character and the winning attitude of Senna. The brilliant words of Alain Prost is just an icing to the cake.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Frustration Limits !!!
Its been a terrible last 19 hrs...so many unwanted things have been happening that its now become too long to share it with anyone. So have to get down to what's the last thing left.. a public blog
Here is the list:
1. My computer data is all wiped out.. All Data. Everything for which I had spent hours and weeks collecting, all repository, all pictures all ebooks .. gone without a trace, without a notice, without a touch. Irreplaceable, unimaginable loss...
2. If that is not enough, my emails.. you read it right.. my emails have been wiped out too from my inbox. Why it hapened, I have no idea. All emails of paramount importance are gone too.. This is called a total Data Blackout.
3. If that is not frustrating enough, I am well behind my studies for the upcoming exams... no idea if I can even complete one reading before the exams.
4. Dad won't be for most part of my vacations in India... great.
5. Haven't chatted with my L interest since yesterday. Not that its important, it just keeps hitting me at the time when I don't want to think about it.
6. My lab partner sitting next to me is making lewd statements to his gf and seems to be enjoying himself... as if the world is not frustrating enuff already..
Argh!!
I hate all this..
Here is the list:
1. My computer data is all wiped out.. All Data. Everything for which I had spent hours and weeks collecting, all repository, all pictures all ebooks .. gone without a trace, without a notice, without a touch. Irreplaceable, unimaginable loss...
2. If that is not enough, my emails.. you read it right.. my emails have been wiped out too from my inbox. Why it hapened, I have no idea. All emails of paramount importance are gone too.. This is called a total Data Blackout.
3. If that is not frustrating enough, I am well behind my studies for the upcoming exams... no idea if I can even complete one reading before the exams.
4. Dad won't be for most part of my vacations in India... great.
5. Haven't chatted with my L interest since yesterday. Not that its important, it just keeps hitting me at the time when I don't want to think about it.
6. My lab partner sitting next to me is making lewd statements to his gf and seems to be enjoying himself... as if the world is not frustrating enuff already..
Argh!!
I hate all this..
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Vidya..
My fav poem spoken by the lips of Vidya Balan in the movie Lage Raha Munna Bhai, this is for all those who share my taste
Guddddddddddmorning Mumbai!
This is Janvi on world's face radio
Jaane se pehle ye hai mera aaj ka khyal
Un sab ke liye jo daude ja rahe hain sheher me
Sheher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai
Agar yahi jeena hai to dosto, to fir marna kya hai
Pehli barrish me train late hone ki fikar hai
Bhool gaye, bheegte hue tehelna kya hai
Serial ke kirdaron ka sara haal hai maloom
Par maa ka haal poochne ki fursat kahaan hai
Ab ret pe nange paon tehelte kyon nahi
108 hai channel, par dil behelte kyon nahi
Internet pe duniya se to touch pe hai
Lekin pados me kaun rehta hai jaante tak nahi
Mobile, landline sabki bharmaar hai
Lekin jigdi dost tak pahuce aise taar kahaan hai
Kab doobte hue suraj ko dekha tha, yaad hai
Kab jaana tha shaam ka guzarna kya hai
To dosto sheher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai
Agar yahi jeena hai to fir marna kya hai
So gudbye Mumbai, mera bye bye bolne ka waqt aa gaya hai....
Guddddddddddmorning Mumbai!
This is Janvi on world's face radio
Jaane se pehle ye hai mera aaj ka khyal
Un sab ke liye jo daude ja rahe hain sheher me
Sheher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai
Agar yahi jeena hai to dosto, to fir marna kya hai
Pehli barrish me train late hone ki fikar hai
Bhool gaye, bheegte hue tehelna kya hai
Serial ke kirdaron ka sara haal hai maloom
Par maa ka haal poochne ki fursat kahaan hai
Ab ret pe nange paon tehelte kyon nahi
108 hai channel, par dil behelte kyon nahi
Internet pe duniya se to touch pe hai
Lekin pados me kaun rehta hai jaante tak nahi
Mobile, landline sabki bharmaar hai
Lekin jigdi dost tak pahuce aise taar kahaan hai
Kab doobte hue suraj ko dekha tha, yaad hai
Kab jaana tha shaam ka guzarna kya hai
To dosto sheher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai
Agar yahi jeena hai to fir marna kya hai
So gudbye Mumbai, mera bye bye bolne ka waqt aa gaya hai....
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Diwali
Its 4:30 am in the morning here at Singapore. The morning sun is still to light up the sky but I believe I have strongly been hit by it already. I haven't really been able to sleep whole night.. waking up in breaks and reminscing about my earlier life and what's been going on lately. I hate myself over a lot of things. A lot of things which I know I shouldn't do but I just can't stop myself, a lot of things which I know I shouldn't say but sadly can't help not saying. And the worst thing is that I have never really cared of what I had been doing wrong until today. Until now, when the thought of losing a very dear one is very strong and the thought that the person whom I love might never be mine for that reason. Is it just too late now?
On this most auspicious day of the Hindu year, I make a pledge to change myself in what I say and what I do. Why am I changing myself for someone else? I don't know. The only thing I know is I had a conversation with Him today and I know this is the right step. I will be completing my part of the promise and the rest is upto Him.
And why am I publicly posting this? For the simple reason, that I want to stand up and take responsibility for whatever I have said and done and for people to remind me if I stray from what I pledged today.
Happy Diwali to each and every one.
On this most auspicious day of the Hindu year, I make a pledge to change myself in what I say and what I do. Why am I changing myself for someone else? I don't know. The only thing I know is I had a conversation with Him today and I know this is the right step. I will be completing my part of the promise and the rest is upto Him.
And why am I publicly posting this? For the simple reason, that I want to stand up and take responsibility for whatever I have said and done and for people to remind me if I stray from what I pledged today.
Happy Diwali to each and every one.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
My Other Blog
I have been taking time to post articles on another one of my blogs. Here is a short link to it, Click Here
For those unknown, I am an avid fan of .NET and as globally expected, my other blog is based on it. Do take time to drop in your comments. I appreciate them more than you do ! Thks.
For those unknown, I am an avid fan of .NET and as globally expected, my other blog is based on it. Do take time to drop in your comments. I appreciate them more than you do ! Thks.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
An Ode to a Brother
I distinctly remember the day when my bro as an 18yr old boy was boarding his flight to
One more day … was well just one more day. The next day my brother left for
Humans are a strange lot. We tend to forget so easily that in some strange way I got used to my brother not being with me. Just so that I won’t have to keep answering the same questions from my friends about missing my brother, I decided to lead a reclusive life…delving into my books and unconcerned with my former friends. Mom felt that I had grown stubborn but only I knew what I was growing up to be. Life without a bro is tough… you have to go through it to feel it. Suddenly I was the only breaking opinion between my parents and I had to take care of whose side to be in. Suddenly, I had to grow up and I missed my brother so very much.
Meanwhile my bro was at his best at
And today, he goes from that same place. The same place where he made so many friends, friends such as whom I always craved for but never had. Aunties and uncles who know him and keep calling him for dinners and lunches. I envy you bro… wanna be like you and be loved like you.
But as my bro leaves everything behind to go to
And one thing I have to tell to everyone, if I am anything in this world, anything at all… it is mostly because of my brother. If I was in the Dean’s list at Penn state, it was only and only because of my bro. I shall always remember those hours and hours of skype chat while he kept doing projects for me… and all got straight A’s. He is brilliant and I am only his byproduct.
Ank, my bro my love. You begin a new life today with so many desires and hopes… rest assured they will be fulfilled….its my promise to you. And if there is anything.. aka anything that comes in their way... our whole family is behind you. Love you millions of tons.
Yours only lallu
Saturday, April 01, 2006
How to get the girl of your life ...
1. Don't talk to her about other girls
2. Don't flirt in her path
3. When you talk to a girl, talk about what interests her. Better to let her do the talking, people love good listeners
4. Making a woman laugh is the key
5. Never let a woman feel sorry worry for you. Let her know you can handle any situation at hand. Let her see that you are in control. Be yourself, and always look them in the eyes.
6. Treat her like a woman, let a girl sit in an overcrowded train, pulling the chair in a posh restaurant for her.
7. Guys should have attitude. The one who can stand up for them.
8. Never say anything like "a woman's place is in the home". A REALLY bad idea. Just talk to her, and treat her like a goddess.
9. Say the right thing, all the time
10.Try to talk to her or people who know her first - get to know what she's like, what she likes to do, the kind of people she hangs with.
11. We want guys to be themselves around us. That way we won't be disappointed when the real side comes out.
12. Be comfortable with her and you never feel awkward to talk about anything.
13. Have attitude, always be in charge.
14. Don't do whatever she says. She'll think you don't have confidence in yourself.
15. When she talks to you, give her your full attention. Show her lots of respect.
16. Don't act like a jerk. Make your gf feel like she is the only one, at least for the moment.
17. If you want her, seriously, don't talk about ex-gf,'hot' girls, that girl by the punch bowl, etc... no exceptions
18. Don't call girls anything but their name
19. Talk with the girl, make her laugh and flirt a little.
20. Don't make her or your friends pity you.
21. play kind of "hard to get" and waits for a girl to come to him
22. Always making people laugh and feel happy.
23. Be a good listener
24. Always stands for what you believe in
25. Always smell good
26. Tell her that you want to get to know her better
27. Don't bore them
28. Don't tell a woman everything about yourself, tell her when you get to know her
29. Always be there for her, no matter what you are doing.
30. Tease her. Don't be mean, just be playful.
31. Don't talk too much about yourself.
32. The best friend is important. Try to become good friends with them. She will put in a good word for you.
33. Don't say "Do you want to go out some time?" Include a place like the movies or dinner.
2. Don't flirt in her path
3. When you talk to a girl, talk about what interests her. Better to let her do the talking, people love good listeners
4. Making a woman laugh is the key
5. Never let a woman feel sorry worry for you. Let her know you can handle any situation at hand. Let her see that you are in control. Be yourself, and always look them in the eyes.
6. Treat her like a woman, let a girl sit in an overcrowded train, pulling the chair in a posh restaurant for her.
7. Guys should have attitude. The one who can stand up for them.
8. Never say anything like "a woman's place is in the home". A REALLY bad idea. Just talk to her, and treat her like a goddess.
9. Say the right thing, all the time
10.Try to talk to her or people who know her first - get to know what she's like, what she likes to do, the kind of people she hangs with.
11. We want guys to be themselves around us. That way we won't be disappointed when the real side comes out.
12. Be comfortable with her and you never feel awkward to talk about anything.
13. Have attitude, always be in charge.
14. Don't do whatever she says. She'll think you don't have confidence in yourself.
15. When she talks to you, give her your full attention. Show her lots of respect.
16. Don't act like a jerk. Make your gf feel like she is the only one, at least for the moment.
17. If you want her, seriously, don't talk about ex-gf,'hot' girls, that girl by the punch bowl, etc... no exceptions
18. Don't call girls anything but their name
19. Talk with the girl, make her laugh and flirt a little.
20. Don't make her or your friends pity you.
21. play kind of "hard to get" and waits for a girl to come to him
22. Always making people laugh and feel happy.
23. Be a good listener
24. Always stands for what you believe in
25. Always smell good
26. Tell her that you want to get to know her better
27. Don't bore them
28. Don't tell a woman everything about yourself, tell her when you get to know her
29. Always be there for her, no matter what you are doing.
30. Tease her. Don't be mean, just be playful.
31. Don't talk too much about yourself.
32. The best friend is important. Try to become good friends with them. She will put in a good word for you.
33. Don't say "Do you want to go out some time?" Include a place like the movies or dinner.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
At Penn State, US
Hi all,
I am finally here at Penn State, State College USA for an exchange stint till May 2006. I so much wanted to come here and I am so happy that my wish has come true. I have many people to thank for it. My friend Ashwini, who told me about the deadline of the application the day it was and my lovely friend who prayed for my exchange. It would never have been possible without them.
The place is great. I love being in small places and this is just the place I would have wanted to be. Met a lot of ppl. here but still trying to find my place among all them. I hope I get to know them better as I move along.
Many assignments due on Monday and I haven't done anything since morning. Chatted with my mom and brother. I love them all, the world is just perfect.
I am finally here at Penn State, State College USA for an exchange stint till May 2006. I so much wanted to come here and I am so happy that my wish has come true. I have many people to thank for it. My friend Ashwini, who told me about the deadline of the application the day it was and my lovely friend who prayed for my exchange. It would never have been possible without them.
The place is great. I love being in small places and this is just the place I would have wanted to be. Met a lot of ppl. here but still trying to find my place among all them. I hope I get to know them better as I move along.
Many assignments due on Monday and I haven't done anything since morning. Chatted with my mom and brother. I love them all, the world is just perfect.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
My First...
Hi all,
Finally I have been inspired by my room mate to have a blog for myself. Well not entirely true, yesterday my brother had registered for me my own domain name and I wanted to link it up to something good!
Well, so who am I? Quite a simple guy. Destiny has brought me here to Singapore studying computer engineering at Nanyang Technological University. I have two extremely loving parents who are shuttling between USA, Australia and India (talk of a permanent address!) . My elder brother has been working as a Java developer in Winnipeg, Canada and has been there for more more than five years. Though my family is quite global, (at one point in time the four members of my family were in four different countries and connected through web) , both me and my brother have had a very stable and memorable days in Jamshedpur, India. I still go back there in my holidays and cannot get myself enjoyed more than getting recognized by the shopkeepers, teachers, friends and my barber. Everything then seems so wonderful - gives you a feeling that the world is still the same as you want it - not carried away by the hustle and rush of the urban life.
A little about my own personality. I am basically quite introvert but never miss an opportunity to unleash my array of convincing and negotiating power when I am in the mood and the situation so demands. I am quite hard working (typing this blog) and extremely strong willed. I think that this is the single greatest quality in me. If I have set up my eyes on something and there is a true desire inside me to get it, there is really nothing that can stop me or lure me. My one liner which inspires me which I have quoted for myself is : "When YOU know you can do it, there is no power on earth that can stop you"
My role models are quite different from the rest. I have strong liking for people who have risen from the depth of poverty on their own or those who have displayed exemplary behavior in any field. From this, I am a great fan of Adolf Hitler. I have been reading about his life since I was quite young and each time I am left more and more in awe of him. A statement on Hitler said by a man on his first meeting with him - "Shakes my hand. Like an old friend. And those big blue eyes. Like stars. He is glad to see me. I am in heaven. That man has everything to be king" , leaves me everytime inspired in the power of the man. He showed exemplary power by using his voice to transform peace loving Germans into sophesticated murderous neighbors.
There are many characters from the history who inspire me - King Ashoka, Karna, Duryodhana and Abel Rosnowski. Most of these figures are from the Indian history. A special mention for Abel Rosnowski - he is a literary figure brought alive by Jeffrey Archer in his masterpiece Kane and Abel. I strongly believe that it is the best literary work ever produced by a human and I have read quite a few to make this statement. I have read much touted books like Life of Pi and Killing of a MockingBird and none of them come even a foot close to it. If you want to gather the inspiration of your life, then pick up this book.
I am an avid reader of history and am proud of myself that I can repeat from my memory all the nuances of Greek, Roman, Italian , German, American and Indian war struggles. I have spent countless hours going through all over wikipedia articles on art, world wars, space, death and what not. Though I have visited many countries in the world, I want to visit once Auschwitz, Dresden in Germany and the Sphinx of Egypt. I have read so much stuff about the holocaust and survivors account of the concentration camps that I can practically give anyone a mental roadmap of its whole premises. Ater reading so much about it, I have no idea how would I feel ,if I ever get to walk on the grounds of the camp made up of ash of millions of people.
I have contributed to a few articles on wikipedia but one article which I have started on my own is this.
Now to my love on which I plan to base my blog - ASP.NET I don't know when I started with it but all I know is that I am completely in awe of the power of .NET. Another countless number of my hours in my room, bus and train rides have just been spent reading and reading more about it. It is so vast that I think it would take me whole my life to get to know it. A guy once mentioned to get to know ASP.NET, you have to read through atleast 70 books. And I have only gone through a dozen of them till now! The great thing of ASP.net that it has helped me diverge into many more areas - I had to study SQL, VB, XML in the process of getting to know it. And I really love it.
The best way I think to learn any stuff is via forums. Learning VBA (Visual Basic for Applications) actually brought me in contact with forums like www.vbforums.com and www.accessvba.com They are a truly marvellous way to learn something new. I now visit many forums: www.asp.net/forums the wrox SQL forums amongst others. I have many articles posted all over the internet in the process of asking and answering other people's queries. A few great places to start with asp.net are
http://www.4guysfromrolla.com
http://www.codeproject.com
http://www.asp.net
http://www.15seconds.com
http://www.msdn.microsoft.com
This is my life in a nutshell. Today is the Diwali so a happy Deepavali to all readers. I aim to continue blogging so keep visiting.
Finally I have been inspired by my room mate to have a blog for myself. Well not entirely true, yesterday my brother had registered for me my own domain name and I wanted to link it up to something good!
Well, so who am I? Quite a simple guy. Destiny has brought me here to Singapore studying computer engineering at Nanyang Technological University. I have two extremely loving parents who are shuttling between USA, Australia and India (talk of a permanent address!) . My elder brother has been working as a Java developer in Winnipeg, Canada and has been there for more more than five years. Though my family is quite global, (at one point in time the four members of my family were in four different countries and connected through web) , both me and my brother have had a very stable and memorable days in Jamshedpur, India. I still go back there in my holidays and cannot get myself enjoyed more than getting recognized by the shopkeepers, teachers, friends and my barber. Everything then seems so wonderful - gives you a feeling that the world is still the same as you want it - not carried away by the hustle and rush of the urban life.
A little about my own personality. I am basically quite introvert but never miss an opportunity to unleash my array of convincing and negotiating power when I am in the mood and the situation so demands. I am quite hard working (typing this blog) and extremely strong willed. I think that this is the single greatest quality in me. If I have set up my eyes on something and there is a true desire inside me to get it, there is really nothing that can stop me or lure me. My one liner which inspires me which I have quoted for myself is : "When YOU know you can do it, there is no power on earth that can stop you"
My role models are quite different from the rest. I have strong liking for people who have risen from the depth of poverty on their own or those who have displayed exemplary behavior in any field. From this, I am a great fan of Adolf Hitler. I have been reading about his life since I was quite young and each time I am left more and more in awe of him. A statement on Hitler said by a man on his first meeting with him - "Shakes my hand. Like an old friend. And those big blue eyes. Like stars. He is glad to see me. I am in heaven. That man has everything to be king" , leaves me everytime inspired in the power of the man. He showed exemplary power by using his voice to transform peace loving Germans into sophesticated murderous neighbors.
There are many characters from the history who inspire me - King Ashoka, Karna, Duryodhana and Abel Rosnowski. Most of these figures are from the Indian history. A special mention for Abel Rosnowski - he is a literary figure brought alive by Jeffrey Archer in his masterpiece Kane and Abel. I strongly believe that it is the best literary work ever produced by a human and I have read quite a few to make this statement. I have read much touted books like Life of Pi and Killing of a MockingBird and none of them come even a foot close to it. If you want to gather the inspiration of your life, then pick up this book.
I am an avid reader of history and am proud of myself that I can repeat from my memory all the nuances of Greek, Roman, Italian , German, American and Indian war struggles. I have spent countless hours going through all over wikipedia articles on art, world wars, space, death and what not. Though I have visited many countries in the world, I want to visit once Auschwitz, Dresden in Germany and the Sphinx of Egypt. I have read so much stuff about the holocaust and survivors account of the concentration camps that I can practically give anyone a mental roadmap of its whole premises. Ater reading so much about it, I have no idea how would I feel ,if I ever get to walk on the grounds of the camp made up of ash of millions of people.
I have contributed to a few articles on wikipedia but one article which I have started on my own is this.
Now to my love on which I plan to base my blog - ASP.NET I don't know when I started with it but all I know is that I am completely in awe of the power of .NET. Another countless number of my hours in my room, bus and train rides have just been spent reading and reading more about it. It is so vast that I think it would take me whole my life to get to know it. A guy once mentioned to get to know ASP.NET, you have to read through atleast 70 books. And I have only gone through a dozen of them till now! The great thing of ASP.net that it has helped me diverge into many more areas - I had to study SQL, VB, XML in the process of getting to know it. And I really love it.
The best way I think to learn any stuff is via forums. Learning VBA (Visual Basic for Applications) actually brought me in contact with forums like www.vbforums.com and www.accessvba.com They are a truly marvellous way to learn something new. I now visit many forums: www.asp.net/forums the wrox SQL forums amongst others. I have many articles posted all over the internet in the process of asking and answering other people's queries. A few great places to start with asp.net are
http://www.4guysfromrolla.com
http://www.codeproject.com
http://www.asp.net
http://www.15seconds.com
http://www.msdn.microsoft.com
This is my life in a nutshell. Today is the Diwali so a happy Deepavali to all readers. I aim to continue blogging so keep visiting.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Adolf Hitler
Adolf Hitler: "Shakes my hand. Like an old friend. And those big blue eyes. Like stars. He is glad to see me. I am in heaven. That man has everything to be king"
Sunday, February 13, 2005
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