Sunday, December 10, 2006

Words which motivate me

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
- Thomas Alva Edison

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience.
- Victoria Holt, writer

"Everything is okay in the end, if it's not ok, then it's not the end."
- Unknown

If you don't make mistakes, you aren't really trying.
- Coleman Hawking

"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot

Don't ask God to make your life easier, ask him to make you a stronger person!
- Unknown

It is not wanting to win that makes you a winner; it is refusing to fail.
- Kristi

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.
- Vincent J. Lombardi

Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.
- Charlie Jones

When you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.
- unknown

Everything happens for a reason.
Even if you never see the reasoning.

- Katie and Amanda

When someone is telling you that you can't do something, don't quit, just smile and say "I'll show you".
- Luis Lira

Don't ever let anyone put you down to make themselves feel better... Remember that...
- Unknown

What's meant to be
Will always find its way.

- Unknown

Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
- eleanor roosevelt

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."
- Calvin Coolidge

"When you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true"
- Paulo Coelho, 'The Alchemist'

Monday, December 04, 2006

Along Came Dad !!! Learning to Rise

When I woke up, the first thing I did was to check my cellphone. Any calls, any messages? X works 24x7 you know. But there were none. I looked up ruefully at all the god idols I have in my room and then suddenly, out of nowhere, it struck me.

I have done well in life - I know I have. There are very few areas I have failed and I have never really bothered thinking about them. And at that moment, I realised that all this while in my life, I have never gone through the acid test - the test of failure. No man in this world, can call himself a man till he has gone through a time of failure. For you never judge a man, his will power, his strengths when he is winning. You judge him when he is failing. A girl who judges her love when he is only winning, could never be farther from being right. The only time when a man should be judged is when he has failed and lost. And I thanked god for giving me this acid test as well. I promised myself that I had no intentions of failing this test.

Still reeling under these thoughts, I was unsure if this was the right thing to think about, or was it just a garb or a mask under which losers could hide their face and forget about their failings...ummm

And then along came Dad..

Let me tell you something about my dad. He is the only one of his kind, no one whom I have ever met in my life can even come close to the qualities he possesses. A man of boundless energy, a man of unlimited will power and strength, a man of countless negotiation and convincing skills and above all the only person on whom I have more confidence of handling things than on my own.

And he called... and I told him everything which I couldn't say to anyone else. Its so unfair dad, its so unfair.. I was brilliant, trust me. Nothing had gone wrong, and I couldn't have done any better - I just dont know what happened.. I just don't know.. believe me.

And my dad listened and listened. And afterwards, when he spoke, I only listened. A few words from him and I was right back on track. I can't say what he told me... only he can say the way he speaks. But its suffice to say that whatever he said calmed me in ways nothing else could. My fallen chest had risen again, my confidence level was back to its max and suddenly, I was me again.

And even while I was talking to him, I suddenly realized how lucky I am to have a dad like him. And I so much could die for a quality that he possesses - changing his words to suit the occasion the best way possible. He is a master of words... if I had told him that I have got into X - he would have convinced me that that is the best place to work in the world. And now that I didn't get into, he convinced me that it would have been the wrong place to work anyway. Oh gosh... what a quality. I need that! for I know so long as I have that, I can never be unsuccessful in life.

And after talking to him, I knew one thing for sure. If X chose to go ahead without me, I have nothing to be disappointed about. If someone needs to be, it has to be that of X. "If there was anything that was under my control, it was my performance and not its outcome". Its their loss that they chose to go ahead without me. So it is they who have to be rueful - not me.

And at that moment, I made a pledge to myself. One day, and I do say one day, X will come over seeking me to join their company. And that is the promise of a son, who has within him, the genes of his dad ...

Learning to Fail...

Well well well... they say we never stop learning. And I learnt another lesson of life a couple of days back. And the lesson was that of failure. It might sound surprising, but I have never thought that I had really failed in my last 21 years as badly as I felt on Saturday. And boy o boy, was it a tough lesson to sit through!

A quick summary. It was the final round of company X's Recruitment drive. Just the last hurdle I had to clear - back to back interviews, games to play and basically to carry myself well throughout the day. I did all that well, and I really mean I did well. The interviews were a dream - never before, had I given such unblemished, assertive and magnificent interview. When I got up after my interviews, I was sure I am through. No human, whoever they were , could have the courage to not pick me up after such a marvellous display of skills. I was dead sure about that! I caught hold of my friends (who had come for the same assesment) and headed out for two back to back movies at the posh theatres downtown.

But I guess I was a little too sure. After one movie was over and I was still reeling under the effects of Penguins (Happy Feet), my friend got a call on his cellphone - he had got into X. Wow! I was so happy for him. The next thing I started to do was to take a look at my own cellphone - did I feel it vibrate or ring as well. Ah.. not yet. They are still calling - there is no way they can't take me in.

But the creeping python was all over me. All through our train ride to our next movie destination, I could keep feeling my heart beat rise with every minute. Did my phone just ring? No it didn't. Was there a slight vibration.. nah not yet. Or maybe its the tunnel? The train is running through a tunnel and signals are hard to catch by.. yeah that's right. Meanwhile, my friend was making frantic calls to all over the world - parents in India, friends, remote friends, enemies - "I am into X - London training, treat". I made a mental list of all people I would call up. First to mom and dad, and then to my brother - so what if I haven't spoken to him for over two weeks. This is the best time to make up . I will call up all my friends, even remote ones.... O damn it..!!!! Just Ring !!!!!!!!

The train was out from the tunnel, by then all the rest of my friends too had got the call from X and by the time we reached the movie theatre, I was finding it hard to walk. No way, I could sit through another movie - I am gonna die today. It juz can't be. What did I do wrong! Why is it that I am being tested for the power of endurance, why not someone else? Ah.. god. You can't be so unfair to me.

I ultimately didn't go for the movie and came back to my room. Couldn't have been so sad in my life. The canteen owner, where I brought my food everyday, spoke to me for the first time in 4 years.. and the first thing he asked was "Why are you so sad"... and I couldn't hold on anymore. Somehow, telling a stranger of how I felt was more comforting than anything else in the world at that moment.

The whole night, the only thing which went through me was --- why me? Why me, after such a splendid interview, with so many credentials - Dean's List, innumerable internships, awards, why couldn't I get through and simple others could get in? It was too much of a shock and a gulp in my throat formed which was too hard to swallow...

I din have the courage to tell my parents that I had failed in their eyes - the man who was once so sure in his life that no company could reject him would actually call them up to break a news of rejection. No I can't do that.

It was my first introduction to failure.. first time when I couldn't think of what I could have done better to get in. First time, when I felt I was at the receiving end of unfairness. So many first times, that I juz took refuge in a movie stored on my computer and slept ...


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Ayrton Senna Tribute

The finest tribute presented to Ayrton Senna by his teammate/nemesis Alain Prost upon his death.

http://www.prostfan.com/senna2.htm

Have read this around 10 times and each time cannot remain unimpressed by the character and the winning attitude of Senna. The brilliant words of Alain Prost is just an icing to the cake.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Frustration Limits !!!

Its been a terrible last 19 hrs...so many unwanted things have been happening that its now become too long to share it with anyone. So have to get down to what's the last thing left.. a public blog

Here is the list:

1. My computer data is all wiped out.. All Data. Everything for which I had spent hours and weeks collecting, all repository, all pictures all ebooks .. gone without a trace, without a notice, without a touch. Irreplaceable, unimaginable loss...

2. If that is not enough, my emails.. you read it right.. my emails have been wiped out too from my inbox. Why it hapened, I have no idea. All emails of paramount importance are gone too.. This is called a total Data Blackout.

3. If that is not frustrating enough, I am well behind my studies for the upcoming exams... no idea if I can even complete one reading before the exams.

4. Dad won't be for most part of my vacations in India... great.

5. Haven't chatted with my L interest since yesterday. Not that its important, it just keeps hitting me at the time when I don't want to think about it.

6. My lab partner sitting next to me is making lewd statements to his gf and seems to be enjoying himself... as if the world is not frustrating enuff already..

Argh!!

I hate all this..

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Vidya..

My fav poem spoken by the lips of Vidya Balan in the movie Lage Raha Munna Bhai, this is for all those who share my taste

Guddddddddddmorning Mumbai!
This is Janvi on world's face radio
Jaane se pehle ye hai mera aaj ka khyal
Un sab ke liye jo daude ja rahe hain sheher me

Sheher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai
Agar yahi jeena hai to dosto, to fir marna kya hai
Pehli barrish me train late hone ki fikar hai
Bhool gaye, bheegte hue tehelna kya hai

Serial ke kirdaron ka sara haal hai maloom
Par maa ka haal poochne ki fursat kahaan hai
Ab ret pe nange paon tehelte kyon nahi
108 hai channel, par dil behelte kyon nahi

Internet pe duniya se to touch pe hai
Lekin pados me kaun rehta hai jaante tak nahi
Mobile, landline sabki bharmaar hai
Lekin jigdi dost tak pahuce aise taar kahaan hai

Kab doobte hue suraj ko dekha tha, yaad hai
Kab jaana tha shaam ka guzarna kya hai
To dosto sheher ki is daud me daud ke karna kya hai
Agar yahi jeena hai to fir marna kya hai

So gudbye Mumbai, mera bye bye bolne ka waqt aa gaya hai....

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Diwali

Its 4:30 am in the morning here at Singapore. The morning sun is still to light up the sky but I believe I have strongly been hit by it already. I haven't really been able to sleep whole night.. waking up in breaks and reminscing about my earlier life and what's been going on lately. I hate myself over a lot of things. A lot of things which I know I shouldn't do but I just can't stop myself, a lot of things which I know I shouldn't say but sadly can't help not saying. And the worst thing is that I have never really cared of what I had been doing wrong until today. Until now, when the thought of losing a very dear one is very strong and the thought that the person whom I love might never be mine for that reason. Is it just too late now?

On this most auspicious day of the Hindu year, I make a pledge to change myself in what I say and what I do. Why am I changing myself for someone else? I don't know. The only thing I know is I had a conversation with Him today and I know this is the right step. I will be completing my part of the promise and the rest is upto Him.

And why am I publicly posting this? For the simple reason, that I want to stand up and take responsibility for whatever I have said and done and for people to remind me if I stray from what I pledged today.

Happy Diwali to each and every one.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

My Other Blog

I have been taking time to post articles on another one of my blogs. Here is a short link to it, Click Here

For those unknown, I am an avid fan of .NET and as globally expected, my other blog is based on it. Do take time to drop in your comments. I appreciate them more than you do ! Thks.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

An Ode to a Brother

It is funny what games life plays with you. Some days you wonder what made God bring us into existence and at other times you cannot help but marvel at the permanence and the constant changes going on in life. Today is a great day in my brother’s life, he is boarding a bus to Toronto to begin on a new path of his life. And he is leaving behind nothing but never ending memories of Winnipeg.

I distinctly remember the day when my bro as an 18yr old boy was boarding his flight to Winnipeg via Ottawa. I clearly remember the train ride from Jamshedpur to Delhi …each and every station where the train stopped and I jumped out and came back with something or the other. The discussions were varied during the train ride. Mom was not saying much… she loved my bro just too much. Dad was at his normal best…giving my bro advice upon advice on any remotely possible incident. My brother was listening and nodding and I was as uncontrollable as a 15 yr. old. We reached Delhi well and checked into the Great India Habitat Centre. We went to the airport that night with heavy heart and came back with elevated hearts… the flight had been postponed by a day. One more day with my brother!! can any amount of money in this world equate that. That was the first time in my life when I felt the worthlessness of money.

One more day … was well just one more day. The next day my brother left for Winnipeg… to make his life, his career. At that time I thought he was bigger than me so there was no cause to worry… but now that I have gone through that 18 yr old barrier, I know how young and nervous his heart must have been. Cheers to my bro!!! when he hugged me at the Delhi airport, I was inconsolable. I am not the one to easily cry… but at that time …

Humans are a strange lot. We tend to forget so easily that in some strange way I got used to my brother not being with me. Just so that I won’t have to keep answering the same questions from my friends about missing my brother, I decided to lead a reclusive life…delving into my books and unconcerned with my former friends. Mom felt that I had grown stubborn but only I knew what I was growing up to be. Life without a bro is tough… you have to go through it to feel it. Suddenly I was the only breaking opinion between my parents and I had to take care of whose side to be in. Suddenly, I had to grow up and I missed my brother so very much.

Meanwhile my bro was at his best at Winnipeg. He is one of those persons who befriends easily unlike me. He is in all ways smarter, more intelligent, nobler and a better person than me. He kept making friends and living his life with his select group of friends. I got a golden opportunity to be with him alone when I went for his graduation… oh it was such a marvel to see him in that graduation costume and when he looked at me from where he was sitting… it was a lifetime for me. Couldn’t have asked for anything more…

And today, he goes from that same place. The same place where he made so many friends, friends such as whom I always craved for but never had. Aunties and uncles who know him and keep calling him for dinners and lunches. I envy you bro… wanna be like you and be loved like you.

But as my bro leaves everything behind to go to Toronto for his MBA, I cannot be more happy than him. Every day when I chatted with him, he talked of York and only York and I am so glad … so glad really that he is going there. All the best bro.... enjoy your final student life to the fullest. And may you get keep getting what you always wanted.

And one thing I have to tell to everyone, if I am anything in this world, anything at all… it is mostly because of my brother. If I was in the Dean’s list at Penn state, it was only and only because of my bro. I shall always remember those hours and hours of skype chat while he kept doing projects for me… and all got straight A’s. He is brilliant and I am only his byproduct.

Ank, my bro my love. You begin a new life today with so many desires and hopes… rest assured they will be fulfilled….its my promise to you. And if there is anything.. aka anything that comes in their way... our whole family is behind you. Love you millions of tons.

Yours only lallu

Saturday, April 01, 2006

How to get the girl of your life ...

1. Don't talk to her about other girls
2. Don't flirt in her path
3. When you talk to a girl, talk about what interests her. Better to let her do the talking, people love good listeners
4. Making a woman laugh is the key
5. Never let a woman feel sorry worry for you. Let her know you can handle any situation at hand. Let her see that you are in control. Be yourself, and always look them in the eyes.
6. Treat her like a woman, let a girl sit in an overcrowded train, pulling the chair in a posh restaurant for her.
7. Guys should have attitude. The one who can stand up for them.
8. Never say anything like "a woman's place is in the home". A REALLY bad idea. Just talk to her, and treat her like a goddess.
9. Say the right thing, all the time
10.Try to talk to her or people who know her first - get to know what she's like, what she likes to do, the kind of people she hangs with.
11. We want guys to be themselves around us. That way we won't be disappointed when the real side comes out.
12. Be comfortable with her and you never feel awkward to talk about anything.
13. Have attitude, always be in charge.
14. Don't do whatever she says. She'll think you don't have confidence in yourself.
15. When she talks to you, give her your full attention. Show her lots of respect.
16. Don't act like a jerk. Make your gf feel like she is the only one, at least for the moment.
17. If you want her, seriously, don't talk about ex-gf,'hot' girls, that girl by the punch bowl, etc... no exceptions
18. Don't call girls anything but their name
19. Talk with the girl, make her laugh and flirt a little.
20. Don't make her or your friends pity you.
21. play kind of "hard to get" and waits for a girl to come to him
22. Always making people laugh and feel happy.
23. Be a good listener
24. Always stands for what you believe in
25. Always smell good
26. Tell her that you want to get to know her better
27. Don't bore them
28. Don't tell a woman everything about yourself, tell her when you get to know her
29. Always be there for her, no matter what you are doing.
30. Tease her. Don't be mean, just be playful.
31. Don't talk too much about yourself.
32. The best friend is important. Try to become good friends with them. She will put in a good word for you.
33. Don't say "Do you want to go out some time?" Include a place like the movies or dinner.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

At Penn State, US

Hi all,

I am finally here at Penn State, State College USA for an exchange stint till May 2006. I so much wanted to come here and I am so happy that my wish has come true. I have many people to thank for it. My friend Ashwini, who told me about the deadline of the application the day it was and my lovely friend who prayed for my exchange. It would never have been possible without them.

The place is great. I love being in small places and this is just the place I would have wanted to be. Met a lot of ppl. here but still trying to find my place among all them. I hope I get to know them better as I move along.

Many assignments due on Monday and I haven't done anything since morning. Chatted with my mom and brother. I love them all, the world is just perfect.